Finding my voice vs finding His

Today’s chapter in Make Yourself Amazing touches on being authentic and transparent. So, here’s me, keeping it real.

For as long as I can remember I have had a thing for Psalm 24. I read the words as a teenager and they jumped off the page and grabbed me round the heart.

At first, I thought my mission was to make the world adore Psalm 24 – at least as much as it loved Psalm 23. Everyone knows Psalm 23, “The Lord is my shepherd…” But no one knows, “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it…” What’s so special about Psalm 23? It is no more profound than, “Open the gates and let the King of glory come in.”

We had a bond, Psalm 24 and I, but I did not understand our affiliation until my twenties. Psalm 24 resonated with me because it was mine. It was my life scripture. It was not my assignment to turn the world into Psalm 24 fans. It was my job to live it. As Jesus stood in the synagogue and proclaimed Isaiah, my life would proclaim the message of Psalm 24. I would climb the mountain of the Lord.

Ascending the hill of the Lord has been my mission. Yet at times I was distracted. I lost my way and it all fell apart. In the valley life became hard and tiresome. Eventually I came to my senses. Peace returned; hope renewed. And I got back to journeying onward up the mountain. Where I belonged.

Three months ago I received an invitation from the Lord: Let me take you up the mountain.

The magnitude of those words weighed heavy on my life. What a privilege. Such an honour to be invited up the mountain by the Almighty.

And I did nothing about it.

Nothing.

I was busy blogging and taking courses on grammar and how to run a business. They taught me to build an audience and find my voice – a voice that would resonate with thousands. And while I had some success, it was not satisfying. I was not hitting it: my voice strained, progress slow. It was frustrating.

The one thing I had done in response to God’s invitation was search “mountain” on Bible Gateway. I pulled scriptures that stood out into a special document. I hadn’t even reached the Psalms, but I had a collection of verses that talked about being on the mountain.

Last Sunday morning I read over those verses and got stuck.

1 Kings 19:11-12 “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.

God said:
You have been worrying about finding your voice. Your job is to find my voice.

Other people have to find their voice. For some, it is all they have. But it is not for you. It is not what I have called you to. Find My voice, and people will follow. Find My voice, and I will sort everything else’s out.

And the light came on. There had been earthquakes, storms and fires in the form of blogging courses, guest posts and webinars. Nothing wrong with those things. But I had an invitation. And I wasn’t listening.

From now on, it’s not about me. It’s not about my opinion or my life, it’s His voice. No words wasted with antidotal rhetoric. Just. His. Voice. Not only as a blogger, but my whole life. His voice.

This is my pledge: I will go up the mountain and hear the voice of God. It is where I am called and where I belong.

I will speak His voice and write His voice. Not mine. Not ever. And if I do, you can tell me. Write and kick me up the pants, “Sarah, we couldn’t care about you. We want to hear God.”

And so do I. More than ever. So do I.

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More about Sarah Coleman

Sarah Coleman is wife, mother of two boys, writer, pastor, teacher and friend. She loves Jesus with a passion and the feel of Australian sand beneath her toes.

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