Epic #mumfail

1 Timothy 1:15 This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. 

Paul wrote that. You know Paul – they guy who penned half the New Testament. The man whose writings proclaim the grace and mercy of the Cross. That Paul. 

I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t call Paul the worst of sinners. Sure he murdered Christians, but that was BC, and covered by the Blood. Why would Paul proclaim himself to be the worst of all sinners? I mean, I wouldn’t proclaim myself to be the worst of all sinners. I have always been a good girl born with a huge conscience. I turn myself in just for thinking of doing something bad. So do I think of myself as the worst of all sinners? No.

But the worst mother in the world? No wait, the most epic of #mumfails (yes it is a trending hashtag) of all the mothers in the world? Would I call myself that? (Sorry? You’re telling me you hold the title?)
Yes. Yes I would.
Because as a mother, I make mistakes. I have bad days. Some worse than others.

When you are pregnant well-meaning people tell you motherhood comes naturally. That when you hold your baby in your arms you are naturally are overwhelmed with love, the mothering gene you were born with comes to the fore, and in that blissful moment, you are a mother.

I disagree (and for those of you who never had those feelings and live with the guilt they bring, this is a game changer). 
Motherhood does not come naturally. It is learnt. There are no schools of motherhood, no subjects at school like motherhood 101. Motherhood is learnt the same way you learn most things: from others. Other mothers. Your own mother. People. Books. The Internet (this blog post😀). But most of motherhood you learn yourself through your kids; successes and mistakes. 

Mostly through your mistakes. 

And as a mother you are learning all the time. At home. In the bedroom. In the yard. At the park. In the shopping centre (or mall, as some might say). In front of thousands of people. Before cameras and lights for all the world to see.

So let me come back to Paul. Paul declared himself the worst of all sinners. Was this because he had a secret sin problem? Had he not dealt with the guilt of his past? 

Paul called himself the worst of sinners because the longer he lived, the more he realised his need for Christ.
Take a moment to let that sink in.

So here is what I offer to all the women who think they are epic #mumfails. Next time you are having a major “I am an epic #mumfail” moment: think of Paul. Think of the worst of sinners. And recognise your need for Christ.
No one has arrived. We are all learning. Mothers are on a journey. And in the journey of motherhood you need Jesus.

Mark 10:14 He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. 

Jesus was not a mother but He loved children. First and foremost, you, beautiful mother, are His child. He beckons you, daughter. He beckons you with open arms. You are not alone in this. He loves you. Your children are not scarred for life. If you listen, He will whisper the rhythm of your child’s heart and teach you how to be her mother. 

It’s okay to need Jesus. Paul needed Jesus. Without Christ he was the worst of sinners. Without Jesus I lose it as a mother – most epic of all #mumfails. 

But there is no place I’d rather be.
So what if I am an epic #mumfail. I lean into Jesus and find all I need.

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More about Sarah Coleman

Sarah Coleman is wife, mother of two boys, writer, pastor, teacher and friend. She loves Jesus with a passion and the feel of Australian sand beneath her toes.

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