This chapter of Make Yourself Amazing talks about hard work. The post I want to share with you today is a reflection on the opposite: rest. I pray it is a blessing.
The smell of lemongrass and jasmine envelop my senses. I flop into the massage bed and close my eyes. My time, this is my time. Time away from work, kids, family, everything.
But I don’t relax.
Instead I worry.
It never used to be this way. I have always had my hands in many pies, but lately I find it hard to shut off. I am obsessed with being busy. I feel valued when I am busy.
I am Sarah and I am a workaholic.
And I don’t have a full time job. Except being a mother. Which I guess is a full time job.
Rest, for me, is daunting. When I stop and do nothing, my mind goes where it should not. I worry about what is not done. I feel guilty that I missed something. And the worry and guilt lead to more destructive feelings and thoughts.
Rest. I just want rest. Where I do nothing. Absolutely nothing.
It eludes me.
Rest is not nothingness or the absence of problems. Rest is found in renewal.
Matthew 11:28-29 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
I look to refuel through emptiness: losing my responsibility and letting go of reality. Rest comes when I am filled. To overflowing. Taught of the Lord in grace and love.
In renewal I am filled with the Word. I make my way to the secret place and fix my mind on things above. I meditate on scripture and become who God wants me to be. I discover value in Christ and the finished work of the Cross.
Striving, worry, guilt, pain: gone.
This is the rest I strive to enter. Where days off change from emptiness to renewal. Where a full spirit eases my body and emotions.
And I have rest.